A Year in Review

I am 100% still allowed to recap my year even though it’s halfway through January. I think it’s safe to say that procrastination will still be a constant in this upcoming year.

Dear 2018,

You were great, you were a bitch, you made me grow. I’ve done a lot of growing up this past year, started new projects, and created new goals. Honestly, I can probably say this about any year. 2018 wasn’t necessarily noteworthy but it has shaped me as a person none the less. So now as I finish up this intro, stop trying to be witty, and stop writing in three’s, I shall dive into some of my greatest (or at least most interesting) hits from 2018.


Starting off the new year with my partner at the time, Forest, we dove deeper into exploring his dominant side. The infamous star chart came into existence. You know, the app I raved about and how we used it to track good behaviors and instill good habits. This tool helped us work on our d/s dynamic and together we helped him find his dominant voice.

Winter 2018 was primarily spent at Forest’s house. There was a lot of hot chocolate which I’m not complaining about. We watched many movies, ate pots of mac and cheese, and made many “nests” out of pillows.

February I got my beloved stuffed rabbit, Tato, a valentines gift that I still adore to this day. We also celebrated Forest’s birthday at a dance party. I think I experienced true anxiety for the first time ever. I awkwardly shuffled about in a crowded room trying desperately not to cry. I felt horrible for feeling horrible, trying to put on a happy face. I even gave myself a pep talk in the bathroom to get myself in check.

I learned that I do not like morning dance parties.

I honestly don’t know what we did in March other than hibernate.


April brought Forest a new partner and a new jealously in my stomach. We went through lots of ups and downs. I was dealing with seeing someone who I have shared my most intimate desires with, share those same desires with someone else. It was quite hard for me to see a dd/lg dynamic cultivate between him and his new partner knowing that I was the one who taught him these things. Luckily we had many a talks to help put these feelings of jealousy to an end.

April also bought a trip to San Fransisco to see Big Hairy Monster, BHM. I spent several days in the sun escaping the still frigid New York weather. I got to interact with his partner, Bunny, who I had previously met, but a new friendship was now beginning to form. We co-topped another play partner of his at a party and I was mistaken for a pro-domme.

My head grew two sizes too big that day in April.

We took many photos, some for the internet and some for us. WE FINALLY WENT TO THE EXPLORATORIUM. We spent an afternoon wandering around the museum enjoying holding hands and finding secret corners to do naughty things.

May brought my trip to Barcelona. It was my first time traveling to another country for vacation. The days leading up were quite stressful but the trip itself was unforgettable. Forest put up with all of my photos, and the retakes of the photos, and the retakes of the retakes. We played house in airbnb’s, drank sangria and $3 wine, and had all the gelato we could eat. It was quite the success and I hope to return to Spain one day.

June was the month I began my Patreon. I had the idea that I was going to create weekly videos talking about my life, bdsm, and polyamory. I wasn’t sure if I would stick with it or if people would enjoy it, but honestly it’s one of the best decisions I made in 2018. As I make video number 30 this week I am so proud of the hard work I have put into creating this new space for myself and being able to continue my reach and extend my voice.


Summer brought the fun. Summer in New York is my favorite. There is never a lack of things to do, people to see, or roofs to drink on.

July brought BHM  for a visit. We went to impact with Steve and my body decided it was a good time to get a summer cold cutting the evening short. We explored new parts of Central Park, finding secret gardens and a tucked away swimming pool. We had an intense game night, where Ruby put his long hair up in a pretty bow.

July also brought visitors from abroad. Dayzdreams came to see us. Steve had his staycation and we got to be tourists. Going to museums, shake shack and other New York staples. Kinky Jenga was born and has been providing us wonderful fun ever since that July. There was lots of school girl photo shoots and shenanigans. I met the ever wonderful Grimygurl who I am so happy to call a friend.

August brought birthdays and break ups. I turned 25 and a quarter of my life was now behind me. I spent it with wonderful people at impact being beaten to tears and on a lazy Sunday being surrounded by beautiful babes with snacks.

I went to Forest’s house where he grew up and met his family. We attended a wedding of his best friend. This trip involved a turtle, lots of yelling, and stealthy sex.

By the end of the month things with Forest were not doing well and ultimately we parted ways, which was hard but also for the best. But you know what they say, when one chapter ends another begins.

September is when I met Hunter, who I will admit I did not want to go on that first date with. But one ice cream from Van Lewans, a stroll the Washington Square Park, and a couple of bottles of beer later and I was smitten from the start.


While summer is the best time in NYC, October is my favorite month of them all. Halloween to me starts on Oct. 1st.

Hunter and I took a trip to where he grew up for an infamous barn party. We went to a corn maze where we didn’t actually do the maze. I got to meet his mom (I know it’s super soon to meet a parent, let’s just all calm down) We went to the party where I played a game that involved throwing a hammer in the air, spilt meatballs all over my pants, and had sex in the woods.

Edward Scissor Hands was my most epic costume ever. From scissor fingers to the wild hair I had the costume down to a T. I attended a party where I got to spank some cuties and get spanked by some cuties. My scissor costume of course had lingerie to go with it and I enjoyed looking slightly crazy the whole night.

November was spent with family. I made my way back home to the midwest and stuffed my face. I got to explain polyamory in detail to my mom’s friends with the help of 5 glasses of wine. I got to film a patreon video with mom which is my most favorite piece of content that I have ever created. We talked about how she felt to have a daughter who practiced polyamory and spoiler alert, there are tears.

Last but not least there was December. A time for celebration and love. I got to spend it with the people I care most about it. I had roller coaster tycoon reintroduced into my life. I peed on a bathmat (drunkenly and accidentally). And I got a drawer at Hunter’s house.

I saw the end of Tumblr as I know it. The platform where it all began was no longer a space where I felt at home. This sudden new policy was unfortunate and sad, but also another new beginning. I moved operations over to twitter, instagram, and I created this blog (where I promise I’ll be posting more frequently). Overall I created a new game plan on how I was going to continue to do what I love.

On December 31st I had the pleasure of sitting at home with Hunter, drinking whisky and playing mario kart. We shared a kiss at midnight and then went to bed shortly after.

I had had one heck of a 2018 and honestly was happy to see it go. I’ll be taking my newly founds skills in empathy and shaping my eyebrows with me. I will be leaving behind my fixations on the future and enjoy my present. Most importantly I will be going to the dentist ever six months because I’m a grown up now ( You cannot judge me I will not allow it)

Now 2019 lies ahead and I’m so ready for it. I can confidently say I have never been more passionate about creating. As you all know this year I began sharing my face with the internet, no longer an anonymous entity, but a fully rounded person. While many of you know my sexual interests far too well it’s time I start sharing more of me as a person. Don’t worry I will still be giving you the dirty details you all crave, but I also want to let you all in just a little more. I will continue to share my journey through life, not as a kinkster, not as someone who is polyamorous, and not as someone who shares nudes online, but as me, Doe Fields.

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Processed with VSCO with a9 preset